Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

I fell in love with Polly's shades (how stylish is she? and her boyf? I remember her from the Handbag forums). Imagine my joy when she told me they were from H&M, and I had a trip to Milan planned for the following day. So:

Went to H&M.
Found them (in black).
Tried them on.
Got laughed at by my best friend.
Reluctantly placed them right back on the rack.

they are HUMUNGOUS. I looked like an oversized fly crossed with Ali G. Sadly, my face, like the rest of me, is too thin.

What a shame, they were gorgeous AND only 5.99 euros. Polly was so kind as to offer to send them over to me. But alas, they really don't suit me...

As of 12 noon today, I am the proud owner of a black cloche hat just like the one Naomi Watts wore in King Kong.

Yes I went back to check, yes it did come in black, and yes, the size was right. A semi-bargainous 29 euros, reduced from 49. I officially AM a lucky woman. For a million of reasons, including this one.

So, message to Sheila, who asked where to find a hat like this, in the comments a few posts below: if you like the hat I bought, try and see if there's a Coccinelle store near you, with their handy Store Locator.

First day of the sales today. Here's what I bought:

• aforementioned Coccinelle hat (€29, was €49)
• Mango coat (pictured, €46, was €94 - how lucky am I?)
• Mango slingbacks (pictured, €35, were €70) in purple suede
• Mango top (€16, was €18) - burgundy, ribbed.

Grand total, 126 euros. (That would be about £86, my dearest UK readers). All in all, went over my budget by 26 euros.

Went to Zara too, but the endless queue for the fitting rooms really put me off. I ended up trying on some boots and a camel coat in front of a mirror, surrounded by dozens of madwomen elbowing their way to the till. The boots (stiletto, black, pointy) were huge on the calf, natch.

Even Mango boots are cut big on the calf this season. Maybe they've done some market research and found that customers complain about their calves spilling out of their boots, and zips getting stuck or giving way.

What am I going to do now? ç_____ç Put on weight, that's what.

As soon as I get my camera back, I'll update my shoe gallery with my latest purchases.

• petrol blue pashmina: €3.99
• blue woollen scarf: €4.99
• pyjamas: €12.90
• brown suedette high-heeled courts (see crappy pic taken with phone because bf took my camera): €14.90. Yes, you read that right. Fifteen euros. And they're comfy! I'm wearing them around the house now. They are a very generous size 5 (38), the last pair that was left in the shop apart from a humungous size 7. Put an insole in them and they fit like a glove, worn with thick socks. I'll try a thicker insole so I can wear them with tights.